Burak Bekdil

Peace-brokering is a serious task. It cannot be entrusted to third parties suspected of overt or covert bias in favor of one of the conflicting sides in any dispute If Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan keeps on making hot speeches on Gaza he may earn a few more votes in upcoming local elections, but his government will no longer be able to function as an honest broker for an already-highly-unlikely peace in the Middle East.

We may always try to understand some of Mr Erdoğan’s "more-Arab-than-any-Arab" rhetoric on the multiple human tragedies in Gaza. That, for example, is sometimes "Israel is committing a dark stain on human history," or "the dignity of humanity is being killed in Gaza," or "Allah will punish those who violate the rights of the innocent." But when the Turkish prime minister says "he is reacting as a human and approaching the issue with a Muslim’s approach (his words, in quite broken Turkish)," then we have something else here.

Would it not suffice if Mr Erdoğan reacted as a human only? Why does he have to react as a Muslim also, or, in his words, "approach with a Muslim’s approach?" Why should religion matter when there is a human tragedy? Is tragedy alone not enough to react?

We can always multiply these questions. But what matters is, can Israel (and the United States) trust someone who "approaches the Gaza violence with a Muslim’s approach" as an honest broker in a region where honesty is an extremely rare quality?

Of course, Mr Erdoğan can always send apologetic messages to the Israelis and the Americans through various back channels and tell them "he spoke like that for domestic consumption." "Hey, don’t get offended guys, our prime minister was just speaking with the local elections on the back of his mind; you know, it just happens." Then the right question to ask would be: Can someone "who approaches (Gaza) with a Muslim’s approach" be entrusted the task of peace-making between Jews and Muslims? Imagine Greece having been tasked with reuniting Cyprus; and Prime Minister Costas Karamanlis "approaching the Turkish occupation of the island with an Orthodox approach." Neutrality is not always diluted by religion. Mr Erdoğan’s Turkey as a peace-broker between Israel and Syria (or Hamas) looks not much different than Masoud Barzani’s Kurdistan Regional Government as a peace broker between Turkey and the PKK.

With Mr Erdoğan’s Muslim approach to Gaza it was not surprising at all why the Washington-based Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs (JINSA) has said that Iran’s (regional) allies were Syria, Hezbollah and Turkey, adding "no surprises but Turkey and that’s only a surprise if you haven’t been paying attention." If you "have been paying attention," JINSA’s report, "The Ducks are Lining Up Ğ and Turkey is a Turkey (Jan. 6, 2009)," is hardly surprising in its assertions:

"Under the leadership of the AKP and Prime Minister Erdoğan, Turkey has moved sharply from pro-Western to pro-IranianÉ Its key friend is Muslim-but-not Arab Shiite Iran.

"Turkey in or Turkey out, if the Obama administration wants to play a useful role in regional politics, it should first understand that the paradigm has shifted, the ducks are realigned, the ground has moved or whatever clichŽ you like. It is no longer simply ’everybody in the region against Israel,’ and it is not about a Palestinian state. It is, rather, the pro-Iranian axis including Hamas and Hezbollah as its proxies vs. the anti-Iranian axis that puts Israel, Egypt, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and the Gulf States on the same sideÉ"

Mr Erdoğan is not a neutral peace-broker. He cannot be one. Because he approaches what is basically a Jewish-Muslim conflict "with a Muslim’s approach." A neutral statesman, whatever his faith is, would approach to the Israeli offensive on Gaza like a human being and without a faith identity. Last week, in the wake of "conservative Muslim" calls for "shutting the Zionist embassy and expelling its ambassador," Mr Erdoğan spoke like a true statesman: "We are administering the Republic of Turkey, not a grocery shop." Good. Now he should learn to speak like the prime minister of Turkey, not a grocery shop owner.

He should not forget that his words have a multiplier effect on his grassroots supporters most of whom border on anti-Semitism, if already they are not. The grocery shop owner can engage in Jew-bashing or be indifferent to it, but the prime minister of Turkey cannot.

Too bad, he has been all too silent about the common Turkish language used in anti-Israeli protests which include "death to all Jews," "Jews and Armenians not allowed but dogs are," and "down with that ’cursed nation.’"

Last week, I explained why I decided to become an informer on the Ergenekon gang. This week, I will apologize to the AKP for all my past criticisms I read the "Straight" with interest the other day. It commented: "Egemen Bağış, parliamentarian-turned-chief-EU-negotiator, is someone we know well at the Hürriyet Daily News & Economic Review. And let’s admit it, we like him. He’s the kind of politician journalists take to: affable, gregarious and a good storyteller. He is someone able to rise above partisan politics without betraying partisan loyalty. He also has a sense of humor." (From the Bosphorus: Straight, Egemen Bagis: Right time, right man, the Daily News, Jan. 12, 2009).

I couldn’t agree more. Mr Bağış, author of the famous article "My Party is Good for Turkey" (LA Times, March 24, 2008), should now tell the Old Continent why Turkey is good for the European Union. If he uses half of his marketing and public relations skills Turkey could become a full member by the turn of 2010 Ñ at the latest. I have every confidence that in about six months every European will learn how European Turkey is, just like every American learned how secular, democratic, liberal and pro-western the Justice and Development Party, or AKP is.

I guess that should be sufficient repentance and a public apology for the criticism this column produced for Mr Bağış in its unenlightened times i.e., all times until last week. My other apologies should go to Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, his cabinet ministers, party executives and all the AKP folks.

I admit it took me quite a while, but I have eventually understood why Mr Bağış’ party is good for Turkey. In the first place it is reformist. It has a pro-EU agenda. It advocates civil liberties and it fights undemocratic forces which are hidden within the state’s despotic secular echelons. I will not fear to name them: They are some members of the high judiciary and most of the military top brass.

All the same, times have changed and fortunately Turkey is fast metamorphosing into a democratic society ruled by the nation’s will, not by the autocratic, Kemalist elite. We should support this process.

Mr Erdoğan, as evinced by his unchallenged popularity, is a leader who deserves much praise for his brave reformism. He has not only risked the closure of his party last year, but has also personally been the top target of Kemalist terrorists who boast themselves with the shadowy gang, the Ergenekon.

For many years we lived totally unaware of the dangers those coup-plotters posed to our democracy. Thanks to a brave prosecutor, Zekeriya Öz, we can now wake up to better days. This is not only the victory of heroes like Mr Erdoğan and Mr Öz, but also of our great nation.

The arms caches our independent prosecutors have recently unearthed and their horrifying contents tell us how big the danger was. We in the media should fully support every judicial effort to unmask this shameless organization and its members. Logic tells us that less than a hundred men could not have masterminded such a large-scale conspiracy. Other members of the gang should be arrested too.

Some members of the media have the habit of undermining this investigation. They should stop doing so. If some government politicians are publicly threatening that there will be more arrests, it is not because they view this investigation as a campaign to intimidate their opponents. It is because simple logic tells us this is going to be the case.

A few anti-democratic voices in the press have claimed that by mixing innocent opponents with dark characters of the 1990s the investigators are waging a propaganda war aiming to liquidate the last remnants of Kemalist thinking. They claim this is psychological warfare to advance an Islamist agenda. This is nonsense. As Mr Bağış once rightfully argued the AKP is Turkey’s most Kemalist party.

Note to Judge Oz: I am prepared to give out more names who might be linked with your investigation. Note to readers: Yes, I have decided to "convert," but this has nothing to do with the fact that someone linked with certain power circles politely warned me last week to go "low-profile" and not to be too loud in criticizing the government. I am not a coward. I have decided to convert only after having read in the government-friendly media that the next round of Ergenekon arrests would target some politicians and journalists. That media has never been mistaken about a coming wave of detentions. But no, this has nothing to do with their ties with the government officials and theirs with the prosecutors, it’s just good journalism.

I should have suspected that something fishy was cooking. My cat, Compay, spent the whole Tuesday night in unusual comfort and peace, not even scratching anyone around, or challenging the law of gravity by trying to walk on the ceiling. On Wednesday morning I learned from the radio what had turned him into another cat the day before: He knew he would escape the latest wave of detentions as part of the Ergenekon investigation whereas others were arrested. Compay is a senior leader of the Ergenekon gang, responsible for mobilizing the cats in our neighborhood when the moment for a coup d’etat would come. His team, about 150 indoor and stray cats, would raid the parliament building and mercilessly scratch the AKP deputies, their task under the complex Ergenekon plot.

Now that many of Compay’s comrades are behind bars but he still enjoys his comfortable life I have decided to become an informer: Prosecutor Zekeriya Öz should immediately issue an arrest warrant for this super-puma-size cat who has become the nightmare of people who make the mistake of visiting me at home.

I also do this out of responsibility to my country. I was reminded of this duty when I heard Ğ with much admiration Ğ Burhan Kuzu, a prominent AKP deputy, proudly saying that "No one will ever think he is untouchable." Mr Kuzu was commenting on the latest Ergenekon arrests. I do not intend to question if the untouchables also include the Muslim elite that rule Turkey since they always have their parliamentary immunity. I am assured by Mr Kuzu’s remarks that our beloved country is only an inch away from full membership in the EU now that its democracy is beyond first-class, as evinced by the fact that even the powerful generals can be arrested. Prosecutor Öz should issue an arrest warrant for İlker Başbuğ, chief of general staff, and in half a year Turkey will become a full member.

My hopes for Ergenekon and their plot to get rid of an Islamist party truly shattered Wednesday, when one of the architects of the planned coup, the 80-year-old author Yalçın Küçük, was arrested along with several prominent figures of the post-modern coup of 1997, known as the "Feb. 28 process." Mr Küçük was in charge of the ’loonies section’ of the Ergenekon structure, a critical division of the gang. He and his division were responsible for the murder of Jesus Christ. I forget what date the murder took place.

I also lost my faith in the group which I once sympathized with when I learned that the most significant single weapons system the group possessed was seized by the police: A music CD of a famous Turkish compositor/pianist, Fazıl Say. I inform: the CD, disguised as an audio material, contains encrypted information about a Kemalist plutonium bomb which, when exploded, kills only Islamists.

Who are the other key members whom Mr Öz could not yet have uncovered, and what other crimes they have committed? I reveal: Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu, the CHP deputy, who has revealed so-called corruption dossiers about AKP bigwigs. The man is in charge of Ergenekon’s psychological warfare division i.e. the section that deals with the special task of intimidating innocent Muslim politicians with slander campaigns. Ehud Olmert in Jerusalem is responsible for fooling our prime minister with promises of peace in the Middle East. Also part of the psychological warfare division, Mr Olmert took orders from Mr Kılıçdaroğlu to launch a military offensive on Gaza.

Ergenekon has also infiltrated into the AKP, I must confess. Egemen Bağış, the party’s deputy chairman, is an implant. How do I know? Mr Bağış once said that the AKP is the most Kemalist party. A slip of the tongue. Also in the leadership there is a Mexican dwarf who is a cellist in a circus, a dog in Ayvalik named Luca, a Jewish Islamist with the name of Jihad Goldstein, a fisherman in Iceland who sparked the global financial crisis, and a horse who attempted to assassinate our prime minister a few years earlier by throwing him to the ground.

I shall not name the other Ergenekon mastermind out of fear of losing my job. Nevertheless I shall hint at his identity in the hope that the prosecutors can find out. He is an American journalist who speaks fluent Turkish and is the editor-in-chief of Turkey’s oldest English-language newspaper which recently has reflagged itself. He is code-named D.J., and I swear I saw him drinking rakı a few times. I heard he was in charge of the ’English-language propaganda,’ and operated mainly by giving columns to infidel journalists.

This much is enough. I have done my job, and am confident Mr Öz will track down all these criminals I named/hinted. I am not expecting $$$$$ for this service to democracy. I shall be content with a fat-salaried job in a government-friendly newspaper.

We are living in times when winning wars militarily does not necessarily mean winning wars. The Jewish state should stop ’vote-hunting’ for February and avoid the Hamas gambit The photo looks amusing at first glance. On second thoughts, it is not. The photo shows a man in Islamic attire and boasting an Islamic-style beard, standing in the middle of a protesting crowd and holding out a placard that reads: "Death to all Juice."

Unfortunately, that’s not a fatwa against fruit, in the words of the friend who sent the picture. It’s a reflection of the anti-Semitic sentiment most people hide at normal times and fail to hide each time "that cursed nation" kills innocent Muslims Ñ alongside not-so-innocent Muslims.

Who are the losers apart from the dead? Mahmoud Abbas, president of the Palestinian Authority, is no doubt a major loser. Ehud Olmert may be securing a military victory and a "handful of votes." But in the longer term the country he loves so dearly will probably lose. Simply because this is an asymmetrical warfare: A nation for which one life means a lot versus a nation for which death is a ticket to paradise.

News from Gaza are also bad news for Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and Ahmet Davutoğlu, the prime minister’s foreign policy genius and "ambassador" to terrorist Hamas. Not only that Mssrs Erdoğan and Davutoğlu now see their years-long efforts for Middle East peace-brokering slipping into the political wasteland, they also fear every piece of tragic news from Gaza may mean a few less votes for their party in municipal elections on March 29.

Tragedy for "our Palestinian brothers" has always been an Achilles heel for the Justice and Development Party, or AKP. The latest attack on Gaza is no exception. "More Muslim" Turks, otherwise loyal supporters of the AKP, have already begun campaigning against the government with demands including "closing down the Zionist embassy, expelling its ambassador and canceling all international treaties with Israel."

One such Islamist protest message accused the AKP of "being strategic partners with the Zionist gang" and of "sinning by being the collaborators of genocide." Another Islamist protest note carried a very interesting message: "Hell would have broken loose if it were the government of the Republican People’s Party, or CHP, not of the AKP!"

Quite true, Turkey’s Islamists have the bizarre habit of accusing the Kemalists of being pro-Jewish when Jews kill Muslims, and anti-Semitic when they need Jewish and American support to advance their political agenda. Smart? Cunning? It depends on whether and how much they can fool the powerful Jewish lobby in Washington.

The Kurds? Not a voice. Are the Kurds not Muslim? Are they not in awe and anger? Or are they in awe and anger, but too shy to express their feelings of awe and anger in order not to offend their Jewish friends?

What else has the Israeli offensive unmasked? Diyanet. Our religious affairs directorate which is "at equal distance to all faiths." Read Diyanet’s official statement on the "Gaza affair" and you will have a better understanding of the predominant Islamic thinking. In the first place, it is hard to understand why should Diyanet make a statement on Gaza. Is it Diyanet’s job to comment on Gaza?

If the answer is yes, because human deaths naturally fall into the authority of religious affairs, then the question should be why did Diyanet not make a statement when Islamist terrorists killed innocent people in Mumbai. Would Diyanet issue a statement and condemn if Palestinian terrorists killed Israeli civilians? Has it ever issued a statement and condemned the deaths of Israelis?

Diyanet’s statement is a de facto confession that this is a war of religions. Diyanet is the office for "religious affairs," not foreign affairs. It issued that statement precisely because "Jews are killing innocent Muslims." That’s precisely why Diyanet thinks the Israeli offensive on Gaza falls into its authority, "religious affairs."

What does Diyanet’s statement say? It talks about "a nation" which suffered injustice, cruelty and discrimination in historyÉ That’s the Jews. It talks about "that nation," Jews, inflicting similar pain to the others, Palestinians, now that it has seized power, Israeli Defense Forces, or has won the support of world powers, the United States. It also says all this is regrettable.

It may or may not be regrettable. The argument that the Jews are now doing to the others what others once did to them can always be debated. But the point is, the statement reveals the true colors of Diyanet which at times Israelis do not bomb Palestinian targets plays the political role of the "peaceful Sunni Muslim" who loves Jews and Christians.

But who are the winners? No doubt, the winners are the Hamas and the Mullah in Tehran who must be counting the civilian death toll, especially children and women, with big smiles not visible on their faces.

Criticizing Israel’s disproportionate use of force is one thing, 'Jew-bashing' is another Once again, the words and phrases of the usual gloom, "condemn, disproportionate use of power, crime against humanity, concern, bloodshed, call for ceasefire, anti-Israeli rallies, the intifada, bombings, tragedy," are flaring in the air that fills government and editorial rooms. And once again, it is time to express our overt or covert hatred of the "cursed" country barely the size of New Jersey, be it for ideological or religious reasons.

Back in May, in the days of limitless optimism about Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s "Istanbul initiative," which aimed at facilitating an Israeli-Syrian peace, this column read: "Of course, no one, including the Americans, is obstructing the Istanbul initiative. And there is certainly no harm if Mr Erdogan and his genius foreign policy advisers wish to toy with a too difficult idea. But they should be able to understand that their American friends are more concerned about the Palestinian leg of Israel’s woes, not the Syrian leg as priority. Also, as long as there is an ’all-out war’ in the Middle East a naive start with Syria will probably yield no good result."

Barely half a year later, an angry Mr Erdogan appeared before crowds and cameras and called the Israeli air strikes on the Gaza Strip "Éalso an act disrespectful to us (Turkey)," and, with the tone of an offended child, said that he would cancel a planned phone call to Ehud Olmert, Israeli prime minister.

Meanwhile, the crowds that made his party fans were shouting, "Down with Israel!" We cannot guess how many sleepless nights Mr Olmert will have to spend because Mr Erdogan would not ring him, but he must have better reasons to worry. Understandably, Mr Erdogan is more concerned about the collapse of his peace-maker role than violence itself.

No one with a sane mind would deny the Israeli offensive, as almost always, is disproportionate use of force. No one would deny either it would be a good thing if violence stopped. But the group-think on the latest scenes of violence smells too much cheap intellectual romanticism and looks, unsurprisingly, biased.

For example, you would learn from the same group-think that violence at the turn of 2008 takes its roots from holy books, "God punished the arrogance and hubris of the Hebrews in the Old Testament by making them wander the wilderness for 40 years, before allowing a later, more humble generation enter Canaan." Or you would learn from Vakit, an Islamist newspaper, that the "pro-Jewish Hurriyet" which on its front-page coverage denounced the offensive, deliberately "twisted the facts and linked them to imaginary mortar and rocket attacks on Israel." According to Vakit, Hamas did not fire a single rocket on Israeli soil. You would also hear Pope Benedict XVI "imploring an end to violence;" or a Saudi cleric urging Muslims to target "interests and anything that has a link to Israel," which he declared "a legitimate target everywhere." Alternatively, you would read a Greek daily accusing Jews of rehearsing for WW III.

On a more amusing note, you would hear Amr Moussa, secretary general of the Arab League, calling for "Arab unity to stop Israeli raids." A veteran diplomat like Mr Moussa cannot be serious about that, if he was not just "doing his job" not necessarily believing in what he talks about. Arab unity? Has it ever been seen anywhere at any given any time?

Ask Libyan leader Moamer Qadhafi and he would stand up and accuse Arab leaders of cowardice. Ask Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, secretary general of Hezbollah, he would tell you how "certain Arab regimes" were conspiring with Israel. Ask even Mahmoud Abbas, president of the Palestinian Authority, he would tell you his Palestinian frenemies, the Hamas, were responsible for "every drop of blood spilled in Gaza." Alternatively, in any Turkish newspaper you would see fancy photos of Muslim protesters all around Turkey who were chanting the slogan, "O God the merciful! Curse this nation (Jews)!" All that because "those cursed and evil Jews" did not run from their homes with big smiles on their faces and embrace the rockets that were coming "with love from Hamas." Criticizing Israel’s disproportionate use of force is one thing, "Jew-bashing" is another. Those on the group-think cue should ask themselves a few tough questions:

How many millions of people all around the world would openly Ñ and how many more millions would privately Ñ smile and cheer up if the Mullahs in Tehran dropped an atomic bomb on Tel Aviv? Did Japan not officially apologize "for causing the Americans drop atomic bombs on Japanese soil?" Were the bombs not a disproportionate use of force? Who does the history blame the bombs on? The bomber or the bombed? Who apologized for the bombings? The bomber or the bombed?

Where were the fellow Muslims, Turks or Arabs, when non-Muslim allied forces invaded Muslim Iraq and caused Muslim deaths in figures with multiple zeros? Has any of the fellow Muslim nations stopped "doing business" with the non-Muslim invaders? And, finally, is chanting slogans calling for God’s curse on a nation not an offense based on "inciting hatred along ethnic/religious lines" according to the Turkish laws? Can we publicly ask God to have his curse on other nations too, and escape prosecution? Is inciting hatred against Jews an exception from our anti-racism laws?

Once again, it’s time for good wishes for the new year. Here are mine, all too public and in an apologetic way for the year-long criticism this column may have produced. I would wish President Abdullah Gül a year full of proof that he does not have a drop of Armenian blood in his veins and that universities all run by good Muslim rectors. I would also wish Canan Arıtman, an opposition member of Parliament, or MP, a state-of-the-art DNA-meter so that she can better judge which prominent Turks have drops of non-Turkish blood in their veins. With the same good intentions I wish Vecdi Gönül, defense minister, a happy new year in which Turkey gets rid of its last few non-Muslim minorities for better nation-building.

I would wholeheartedly wish some of the military top brass better scoring on the golf courses and more fascinating picnic parties to which they and their families should be taken aboard military helicopters. I also wish them a year full of more lucrative defense deals. I wish they buy aircraft carriers, spaceships and invisible martian weaponry.

But our Aegean neighbors should not be deprived of my good wishes: I wish the Greek top brass a merry reciprocation in buying the same aircraft carriers, spaceships and martian weaponry. Ah, I should not forget our former military chief, Gen. Yaşar Büyükanıt, to whom I wish many happy rides in his armored Audi.

I wish the holy members of the Turkish Ulema, or Diyanet, more holy fatwas telling us that our ruling Muslim elite are exempt from sinning. I wish them all the best of luck in their holy struggle to reinterpret Islam in line with this day’s political realities.

I would wish all the Justice and Development Party, or AKP, bigwigs to enjoy more $$$$$ from government and municipality contracts and a holy power to avoid publicity. I would wish Europe’s and Turkey’s "Muslim" charity organizations a "better business." And I would wish Egemen Bağış, AKP’s one-man, but all-too-powerful, propaganda machine, many more articles telling the foreign audience, "why his party is good for Turkey."

Having moved on to good wishes for the intellectual elite, I must not forget my sparring partner, Mustafa Akyol. I would most heartily wish Mr Akyol to break his own record of producing articles with the largest number of references to "Kemalism" and "secularists." I sincerely wish he verifies theories that find a linkage between Kemalism and 9/11, the Holocaust, the global financial crisis, the global warming and animal cruelty in Canada and Norway.

Last, but not least, my good wishes for the new year certainly go to Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. I would start by wishing that Hürriyet is either banned or, even better, first seized by the government and then sold to the company his son-in-law runs. I would wish that the constitutional court bans itself, but before that banning any female attire on campuses other than the holy turban.

I would wish the Prime Minister a slimmer, but better Turkey: slimmer because of having deported all of its atheists, non-too-pious Muslims, gays, Kurds who are not happy with the idea of "one-flag, one-nation" doctrine, its Alevis who are not Muslims anyway, of anyone who dares to criticize his wealthy, display-Muslim emporium. For Mr Erdoğan I would wish that President Barack Obama "would not think of throwing this man to the drain, but would just use him," in the famous words of Cüneyd Zapsu, the Turkish Sultan’s unofficial ambassador to Washington.

I would also wish Mr Erdoğan to attend the inauguration of a new European Court of Human Rights which in the year 2009 should consist of the Ulema instead of judges.

I wish him the Nobel Peace Prize for ending the Arab-Israeli conflict in the new year and at the same time for convincing his Persian neighbors to give up on their nuclear ambitions.

Finally, I would wish Mr Erdoğan a Turkey where: journalists critical of the government rot in jail, secularism is abolished and declared illegal, the Ulema decides whether laws are constitutional, the Alevis are "democratically" convinced to disband their faith and join the Sunnis, the Constitution explicitly says that the President, the parliament speaker, the Prime Minister, cabinet ministers and senior judges should be religious men, and in case of doubt as to how religious a candidate is, the Ulema should use a holy Muslim-meter to gauge, alcohol and pork are banned altogether, but liars, crooks, con-men, rapists, pedophiles, embezzlers, woman-beaters are tolerated if they are good Muslims, the legal detention period for anti-government activists is 12 years, the Ulema elects military leaders on the basis of their observance, the military headquarters and units are stripped of access to tanks, ammunition, artillery and other weaponry, and less pious citizens are not allowed to vote.

To turn the current global financial crisis into an opportunity any wise company should launch a DNA testing business in Turkey. The Turks will definitely queue up; but they may possibly be disappointed by the results George Orwell once wrote that the English are not happy unless they are miserable, the Irish are not at peace unless they are at war, and the Scots are not at home unless they are abroad. The Turks probably do not feel Muslim and Turkish enough unless they are "accused" of being non-Muslim and non-Turkish.

The Turkish jargon for insults, curses and argot is very rich in ethnic discrimination. You might hear someone telling you that "even Damascus’s sweets would not be worth seeing an Arab’s face," or that "when the gypsy plays the Kurd dances," or that "someone had chickened out like a Jew," or that "the woman has facial hair like an Armenian."

In the 1970s you could hear someone complaining that "s/he is being treated like a Greek." In the ideological sphere, one can always be heard of complaining that "s/he is being treated like a communist" too.

More recently we have seen corporate and/or media wars in which rivals "accused" each other of coming from "Greek descent." In politics we have seen rivals accusing each other of coming from Jewish descent, or of belonging to families that had converted from Judaism to Islam. The "Jewish convert" theme is particularly common when the Islamists launch a campaign to discredit the top brass.

Most recently, the Republican People’s Party, or CHP’s DNA detective, the lady member of Parliament, or MP, "accused" President Abdullah Gul for having "maternal Armenian ancestors." And President Gul has sued her for "insulting him." In the personality of Canan Aritman we see a common Turkish thinking, an ethnic mix-up with "the other" is something to be ashamed of. Carrying "the other’s blood" is something to discredit someone. And the person "accused" of carrying a non-purely Turkish blood reflexively "defends" that s/he is purely Muslim and Turkish. The honorable MP and the president are no exception.

The unpleasant facts about Turkish perceptions of "the other" are just too visible. An MP publicly "accuses" the president of having Armenian ancestors, I see faces around curiously thinking "could it be true," and the president publicly "defends" himself with a family tree and proudly declares his family has been "Muslim and Turkish for several generations."

The president will now have to prove in court that he is not maternally Armenian. And the MP will try to prove he is. Could the word "sick" be fairly describing the situation?

But this is more of a religious thing than ethnic. Despite several discriminative colloquial references to other Muslim nations like Arabs and Kurds, the accusations invariably point to religious otherness.

Can it be a coincidence that we have seen one-half, one-third, one-quarter or fully Kurdish or Arab or Bosnian figures as politicians, senior bureaucrats, generals, diplomats in this country, but for some reason never a Jew, or Armenian or a Greek. Not even a senior police officer. Not even a colonel. Not even a deputy undersecretary. Despite the fact that non-Muslim Turks are full citizens paying their taxes, being drafted into the army and voting. ’Turkishness’ has a covertly religious connotation in these lands.

For example, I have never seen any corporate or political figure being "accused" of coming from Albanian, Bosnian, Chechen, Uighur or Circassian descent. Sadly, this cannot be a coincidence. "Turkish news" on the other hand is full of prominent figures being accused of having Armenian, Greek or Ñ overtly or covertly Ñ Jewish blood.

This must be a lapse of collective thinking. For example, the "Greeks and Turks" during the exchange of populations in 1923 were simply handpicked as "Muslims and Orthodox Christians." Some "Turks" who were "exchanged" did not even speak Turkish, and some "Greeks" did not speak Greek.

Ironically, neither the Turks nor the Greeks were welcomed in their new homelands, and in later generations they became fiercely nationalistic in order to prove to the locals that they are really "pure."

In the Turkish case, the collective attention about Turkishness is especially bizarre when one thinks of the numerous non-Muslim mothers who gave birth to Ottoman sultans.

The truth is, in these lands it would probably be too difficult to find a pure Turk at DNA standards. Anyone in the land of the crescent and star can be carrying one or a mix of the bloods of at least 50 ethnicities. The best is never to be interested in DNA search as most all-too-Muslim-Turkish-Turks could be sorrowfully disappointed by the results.

So I began to carefully read readers’ comments in what some of us would tag as Islamist and the others as "conservative" newspapers. I was not wrong: my protesting readers were just too innocent and less eccentric in comparison with the supportive readers of the Islamist/conservative press, despite the often vulgar language I find in my inbox. No matter how eccentric those views may look, they do not necessarily reflect the marginal views of a negligible minority. We understand that from what different views have in common: an unconditional support for Turkey’s ruling elite who are supported by a majority of "our enlightened nation." The only difference between the Justice and Development Party, or AKP, and the commenting readers of the newspapers that wholeheartedly support the AKP is that the readers do not need to hide their true feelings as they are not politicians.

In any given electronic copy of what would make the Islamic press one can read thousands of readers’ comments with different exclamations: approval, disapproval, incredibility, anger, delight, all depending on the chosen ideology. I am often appalled, then calmer, then appalled again because I had been appalled. What else could anyone have expected to read?

Tuesday’s search in the "holy press" gave no more or less entertaining bouquet of news/comments/readers’ comments than on any other given day. For example, a news article was criticizing the military because it did not cite the "fight against Islamic fundamentalism" when defending its budget during a parliamentary debate. Where is the Islamic fundamentalism you always say there is, asked the article/comment. Fair enough. In response, a reader suggested that the military should draft the "seculars and atheists only." It would have been fun to see by how many sizes the Turkish military would slim if it drafted seculars and atheists only.

Meanwhile, an article referred to the recently highlighted demands of Turkey’s Alevi community as "building a new religion." Either we shall respect that for the sake of religious freedoms like our naive intellectuals do, the article commented, or we shall not allow our faith to be stolen from us. It ended, "A new religion (Alevi Islam) is being built, and we are expected to remain silent for the sake of democracy. Let’s not remain silent!" That wish was immediately heard by a reader, "When one walks out of the sphere of Islamic rules one cannot be even a piece of wood, let alone a Muslim!"

Another article claimed that "5 Towns Jewish Times," a newspaper published by the New York City’s Jewish community according to the newspaper, had called for "a massacre of Muslims." One reader commented, "It is no surprise that the Koran tells us how mean and ungrateful this damned nation is." Another took the call more seriously. S/he proposed to exterminate Istanbul’s Jews "one by one." "We should start in Istanbul and go all the way to Israel," s/he commented.

We can always think the Turks are prone to conspiracy theories and ignore that one reader claimed "the Sufi prayer houses (or dervish lodges) have been occupied for the past 85 years (read: since the beginning of the Republic)." That was a response to a columnist who had claimed that the (Turkish) atheists were in a plot to split Turkey.

When a news article announced that the European Court of Human Rights, or ECHR, found Turkey guilty of violating the property rights of non-Muslim (Armenian, in this case) foundations, one reader noted that the title deeds of Israel and Palestine belonged to Turkey (by inheritance from the Ottoman Empire), and suggested that "we should at once sue them." Another reader reminded everyone that the ECHR was "a slave to the United States."

But my favorite from "Tuesday’s catch" was a columnist who, in praise of the government, claimed that the AKP was Turkey’s only "socialist party," and a reader, also an AKP supporter, missing the columnist’s credit because it was masked behind the word "socialist." The reader’s comment/warning to the columnist who is a heavyweight of the Islamic press, "Hodja, sit where you are and enjoy your tespih (prayer beads). Stop talking about communism, socialism and atheism!" But the Hodja had not talked about communism or atheism. For many "conservatives" they are the same thing.

Read readers’ comments, and you won’t regret it. They are always amusing, either in the electronic pages of secular newspapers or of Islamic ones.